Tuesday, January 8

A Holy Dissatisfaction

     Several years ago, I was called to participate in the ordination of a young university student and his wife who had been active in our church’s college department.  Their ordination has become the most unorthodox and refreshing ordination I have ever experienced to date.  At a certain point of the ceremony, everyone in attendance was called upon to pray over Andy and His wife at the altar of the university chapel.  As a part of their ordination ceremony, I had been asked in advance to offer a pastoral prayer over this couple I love dearly.   As I began to pray over Andy and his wife, I noticed how obviously overwhelmed they were at the prospect of being set apart for leadership in the church, and I joined many others who were unable to hold back the tears.   I am not sure exactly what I prayed, or how long, but I do remember one prayerful statement I managed to articulate through the tears:  “God, for the rest of their lives, please make them dissatisfied with where they are in their pursuit of You.”  I’m not exactly sure what happened after that, but I do know that at that moment a significant hush fell upon that chapel, and we were all quieted by the reality of that request.  Nevertheless, I feel I was the most impacted by this thought that I have since referred to as “a holy dissatisfaction.” This does not intimate a dissatisfaction with God nor with one’s life as a follower of Jesus.  Rather, this reflects one’s dissatisfaction with how well one knows God and with how much one’s life is controlled by the love of Jesus Christ.  For several years after that night, when I would cross paths with Andy, he would immediately comment, “I will never forget the impact of your prayer.”  I pray that they are living under that holy dissatisfaction today; and I pray the same for you.  Also, I am constantly reminded of how necessary a holy dissatisfaction becomes for one’s own personal walk of faith.

Therefore, the most significant discipline of my life Christian life should be to pursue more of God.  There exist two proper motivations for such a pursuit: (1) the unfathomable and matchless love of God for me, and (2) a holy dissatisfaction with my response to so great a love.   One’s purpose for pursuing God should not merely be academic (how much I can learn) nor merely judicial (how much I need forgiveness).  One’s ultimate purpose in pursing God should simply rest with the fact that God loves perfectly, and the response to such a love should ever increase with more and more passion for Him.      

Psalm 42:1-11; Matthew 6:25-34;

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